Ahhhhh turning the big 3-0. Its a milestone! Its a big one! Time to get crazy and wild, right?!
Not….for me anyways.
I had always pictured my 30th birthday party being a huge event with all my friends and family. Vegas? House party? Maybe a hotel! However what it actually turned out to be, was even better. Sober! – Because lets face it, if I was still drinking the only people celebrating in Vegas would have been the people who came with me, because I would have been passed out in the hotel room, awaking the next morning feeling like complete shit along extreme humiliation and guilt.
I will admit that it was a bit odd at first. Here i was in the bathroom putting on my makeup, trying to decide what to wear to dinner. This would have been the time of the evening when i poured my first drink and sipped it (okay fine lets be real, sipping aka gulping) while getting all beautified. Did it make me feel prettier? More confident? Less anxious? Yes to all three. To my surprise, when i was done getting ready, i looked at myself in the mirror, and for the first time in a long time, i was pleased with what i saw. I was not looking through foggy eyes nor was i feeling a false sense of confidence heightened by alcohol. I was 100% sober, and i was very pleased. This, is a huge milestone to say the least. It has been 10 years since I could say i was satisfied with the way i looked……and i was sober. ( and so the selfies began! #selfie holla! LOL )
My parents got a beautiful table at a nice restaurant that had a fire pit in the middle of the table. For a moment, i was in Vegas! My best friend was there, my boyfriend, my twin sons & his son. Our three boys are all the same age, and we put them in dress clothes with ties! They were so cute! My sons brought me a present and they were so excited to give it to me. They picked out the gift bag together, the card and even picked out the purple tissue paper! They had picked out pearls! ( Okay i had to fake a big huge smile because i dont wear pearls ) I kissed them both and said, ” Thank you so much i love them! You both made my birthday the best birthday ever! ” And the smile on each of their faces was priceless. The effort and thought they put into surprising mommy was the best gift ever. I now understand why my mom always looked so happy when my sister & i would give her homemade gifts, or gifts we picked out that weren’t on her list. Our childrens love is so unconditional and pure, looking at their smiles, melted my heart and even brings tears to my eyes to this moment. I am so lucky to have been blessed with two sons. Twins! And i will wear the pearls when i take them out on our next dinner date i told them! They jumped up and down with excitement! ~ And you know what…when i put the pearls on, they actually look pretty good!
Our three boys had begged the waitress to get me cake for my birthday. Without my knowledge they had this planned the entire evening during dinner. I thought they were just flirting with the waitress ( believe me, they are only 7 but they do flirt! ) At the end of the dinner, they came around and handed me a single white rose and a piece of cake, along with a card signed by all three boys, and everyone sang me happy birthday. I felt so special, and those three special gentlemen got a very special kiss from me!
Turning 30 was definitely a different experience than i had ever imagined. I am so grateful and content. I will always be able to look back and remember every detail, my mom and dad, my best friend, my boys’ thoughtful effort and endearing smiles, and the love of my life who has been by my side this whole time. My life is changing, and I am excited! The sun is starting to peak through the stormy clouds and I can now see that everything will be okay. I just have to hold on to faith ~ For all is through him.
Celebrating really can be fun while celebrating sober.