All She Wanted

All she wanted was the effort that she gave. The love she showed and the loyalty she promised. Unfortunately it would take 33 years to find it. Before the disaster of the dating world began, she was molded into an insecure, self conscious little girl who was quiet unless she was around her sister and … More All She Wanted

I am a Survivor!

For 30 years I believed that I wasn’t worthy of happiness or love. That is absolute honesty, not a pity party. From the deepest part of my heart, thats what I believed. I also had accepted the fact that I was doomed to be sad for the rest of my life. I thought it was … More I am a Survivor!

Spiritual Malady

One of the biggest things I learned early on in my sobriety is that alcohol wasn’t my main problem. Say what!? Yeah, that was my first thought too. You see, I have a 3 part disease. An allergy of the body, an obsession of the mind, and a spiritual malady. ONE sip of alcohol and … More Spiritual Malady

1400 Days Sober!

I woke up today 1400 days sober, or 46 months. HOLY SHIT. I am 2 months away from 4 years! Its a MIRACLE. Some people say celebrating or sharing this is gloating, or not being humble. I say to each their own. I personally decided to start sharing my story 1400 days ago for a … More 1400 Days Sober!

My own Stigma

I spent 10 years with my own stigma held against myself. 10 years of believing that I was a horrible, rotten, miserable, worthless human being for being an alcoholic. I honestly thought that was correct. I also isolated from nearly everyone because I figured thats what they thought as well. My only real friend was … More My own Stigma

Happy Mothers Day!

  In the first picture you see, it was Mothers Day 2014. Two months before I got sober. We went out for brunch with my parents so this was before noon and I had already been drinking. Most likely it was left over wine from the previous night. Nasty sour wine that was still in … More Happy Mothers Day!

God first

While scrolling aimlessly on Facebook I came upon a post that said, “What’s the point in marriage?” It’s a guilty pleasure of mine to read comments by strangers just to get some free entertainment. But this one had me interested for personal reasons. One comment stuck out. A woman replied explaining that if a couple … More God first

A lil crazy

You would think after 45 months of sobriety that I would know how to deal with my emotions. But realistically I am still an alcoholic despite not drinking. This is a feeling disease!!! I hate feeling anything that is not happy. Some days it’s too much and I feel like my head is spinning and … More A lil crazy

Play the Tape

Succumbing to the drink, is no longer an option. Although it seems appealing, I better stop and think. Would it erase my fears & put a smile on my face? or would it mask my pain & create more tears? Its a spiritual malady, it makes perfect sense. Restless, irritable & discontent this was my … More Play the Tape